ADD and Monday mornings

Monday morning. Monday’s are always a challenge for me, more than any other day of the week. Sometimes more and other times less, I find it a challenge to “return” to a schedule and to concentrate on a “stricter” and more programmed day. More so, no Monday is a “return” for me, as each Monday is different, I am different and everything that consists of “my everyday life” is different too. Words can never really describe my inner reality, as they are so limited and the inner reality so vast. I certainly know how the ADD children and adults feel because – accepting the “title” just for understanding’s sake – I am one of them.

It takes time to “get into” something and it takes time to “get out of” it too. It is not an easy process and certainly is not a mechanical one for me. On the other hand, that is how I devote myself to what I choose, giving myself the freedom to block everything else out, stop time and be totally in the here and now. Whatever does not suit my present psycho-physical-mental needs, gets “thrown out” of my current reality, in order to protect my energy and focus it deliberately on what is essential to me."

All this has nothing to do with the programmed mind that all too often comes in from the back door and stirs up the peacefulness. This is an on-going inner monologue that starts scolding, judging, condemning us, eating away at your energy field, as it takes hold of your mind without your knowledge: “You are not organized enough, you don’t match up to others, you are letting your parents down, you are not good enough, you shouldn’t be writing this right now you should be doing something else, you are going to fail…” The scenarios are continuous, the hypotheses based on a past interpretation and an equally dim future, halt your creativity and doubt who you really are. You believe – you have been taught – that this inner critic IS who you are.

You feel inferior to it, totally at its mercy. You try to ignore it, but in reality you believe and trust its sayings. An inner tyrant, educated by society, your upbringing and nurtured (by repetition and unconscious living) by you.

It takes a very different learning process (or rather a de-learning process) just to realize, never mind doubt or silence, this inner critic. Most of us don’t even realize that it exists (in a very practical, moment by moment basis), let alone question it with kindness but firmness too, with acceptance, as you would a frightened, misguided child that you need to comfort but also teach by example, listen to but also correct.

The fact is that life without the inner chatter is a lot more fun and has meaning. To “empty your mind” means to live each moment from the heart. Let your heart decide, let the mind build the strategies that will take you to where your heart wants to go. Do not let your mind decide who you are and what you should want (or have). Do not give it power that it does not really have. Your mind can take you where you want to go, but go need to know where that is very specifically, as you need to be very clear about your true intentions (hidden usually behind the “best intentions” of the ego-mind).

Monday mornings become “I want to be here and nowhere else in the world and I choose to concentrate because it is my conscious choice to do so”. After this admittance, I have found (and continue to do so) my own ways to get organized, be efficient, creative, punctual and joyful throughout it all. I do not compare myself but then again, I do not feel the need to follow others or society’s expectations of me. I am true, devoted and faithful, to the way I have chosen to live, that gives meaning and purpose to my life.

I wish more people could dwell in “la-la land” more (as Jill Bolte Taylor named this state of consciousness), where you can automatically “switch off” all that is insignificant and magically create the world that you want to create because it is substantial, not only to you but to everything and everyone around you. You can only do that if you stop dwelling on the past and if you stop worrying about the future. Devotion, concentration and purpose all involve the present moment. You build your future based on you state of being this very moment. You reap what you sow but the system we follow (in our heads) has it backwards and most of us are not even aware of it.

Occasionally I might get carried away by the temporary temptations of the senses and all material things and goals that our “civilized” world has named important and useful necessities. But deep down, at the core of my being, and beyond all that it apparent, I know that this is a temporary world, a make-believe learning ground we have named reality that is only a small part, a very small part of who I really AM. Just as dreams seem real while you dream them, but lose their significance once you awake. We play our dramas while asleep (thinking that we are awake), but quickly forget them and get on with life once we realize “it was only a dream”.

Someday our dreams and dramas will end. But the end is not the purpose. The purpose is to realize (awake) while in a dream state that we have chosen to concentrate (limit ourselves) to this reality. Then – and only then – can we take responsibility of our roles, what we express and why, what our purpose is and how we fit in the whole picture of creation. That is where we begin to enjoy playing the game of life; though hardships and joy, pain and caring, love and anger, falling down and getting up again. We have chosen to experience all of life and yet the programmed mind has condemned a big part of what life really is. Experience is the purpose. The goal is already met.

Back to wonderful Monday’s and taking responsibility of my roles as working mom, a child that wants to play, a serious businesswoman (that has a hard time playing “distant” professional), in time for my day’s obligations that are also my desires.

Wonderful Mondays! Always a whole new week ahead to challenge yourself to another round in life's game.

The same goes for each day, and then you stop counting the weeks.

The same goes for each moment and then you stop counting the days. You know eternity is this "little" moment that will never be the same again.

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