The ego thinks that it can observe and assumes that it does. In reality, it has no such ability, nor does it even understand the meaning or the nature of the act of observation. Yet it is arrogant enough to pretend that it understands everything, simply because it has a symbol (word) for it and because it can mentally argue its position, its (limited) point of view.
Nothing that the ego understands or names is observation! For “to observe” you need to separate yourself from the ego, see the existing (yet hidden until you consciously will it) space between the ego and yourself. The very act of non--identification, of separation, is uncomfortable and painful on its own. But it is what can lead you to observation and its true function. You cannot accomplish observation without non-identification. It cannot be done. The ego will always take you back to criticism, naming it “observation”.
You can always detect which you are really engaging in – no matter what you name it – by where this leads you. If you find yourself perceiving outside threats, a separation between you and others and if your expressions (through action) seem unchanged, then you know you have been criticizing through the ego, allowing it to draw you into its limiting reality. If you are really observing, you are “magically” led to learning, to consciously discovering aspects of yourself and of others that you weren’t aware of before. You begin to understand the connection and feel grateful for all that helps you expand. Your expressions (actions) begin to change, as you shift to becoming more of your Self.
Observation is the most difficult thing to do for the weak at heart. It has nothing to do with intellect or academic abilities. You need to be shown by a real mentor what observation really is about. Not because you don’t know, because at one time you did. It came with your natural human coding, which was effortlessly expressed as a child. But since then, you have been conditioned, refined, programmed and mechanized. You have long forgotten your natural state of being. You need to be guided back to that state of being, this time with the knowledge of the adult, by one that has achieved such inner harmony. Your current social and personal conditioning deprives you of such potential. The ego has become too intelligent, canny and capable for the naïve that arrogantly think they can do it alone.
On the other hand, observation cannot be done for you. A guide may guide you, show the way, give you the tools, but it is you who has to decide to walk the path and use the tools to your best benefit. Only your heart can tell you whether you are ready for this great shift in consciousness (which can also be named “a change of mind”, because you do really change minds when you understand the function of the two hemispheres, the programming of both and the creative mind that awaits to be discovered/ accessed after that) or if you are afraid and prefer to keep in hiding. Your truth lies in your actions and not your mental decisions and promises. If you are truly ready, the right teacher will appear. You will know in your heart that you can trust him/her and you will devote yourself to follow his/her guidance with total respect and reverence.
If you are not ready, you will pass any given opportunities by using all sorts of logical excuses, criticizing and (in reality) shielding yourself from the revelation of the truth, thus needing to further experience the cycles of the matrix. You might be thinking all along that you are actually choosing, but you are not. You cannot! Choice is only possible without fear, guilt or judgment. Before that, you are victim of the ego, yet still under the watchful Eye of your Self, who always guides you, regardless of appearances.
Your (un)conscious choice to live in darkness is not the doom of your soul. But it does deprive you of joy, true abundance, meaning and a higher purpose in your life. Darkness is ignorance. Thinking that you are the ego, or victim to the ego, is surely ignorance – although this truth will be hidden from you by the uncanny, multitude ways that the ego finds to persuade you that you are in control of your self and your life.
Don’t think that you “know” the ego just because you can name it or because you think that you see it in others. Don’t even assume that you know the ego because you are trying to ascend it or change it or ignore it. There are a million ways that the ego has discovered to persuade you of your victory over it, only to keep you in captivity with new refined, undetectable ways that you wouldn’t even dream of observing.
You don’t transcend the ego, you don’t abolish it, you don’t transform your ego. The ego is not real, therefore it cannot be transformed. The ego is a made-up image of you based on conditioning, deep core programming that has been “placed” there unconsciously through experience. What you really need to do is re-educate the ego, so that it will serve you and not you it.
But how do you re-educate the ego, if you know nothing of its programming, if you don’t even perceive it as separate from you and if you are not aware of anything outside its reality? Who will re-educate your ego if not you? Who can know or understand your ego better than you (if you are shown how to observe it)? If you are not willing to look inside you, at all the hidden thoughts, traits, emotions, then who should be? Yes, the ego is fake, it is not the real you. But you have no way of really knowing (experiencing) that, unless you become a conscious observer, willing to acknowledge everything and anything hidden or apparent, which now makes up your image, that you are totally identifying with.
Obviously your mentor of choice, in this road of self-discovery, cannot be someone with amazing theories, strategic clean-cut methods and a perfect way with words, but nevertheless hooked on his/her own image. Or can it? It really depends on what you actually want: to confirm what you think you already know or dare delve into the unknown?